Some people think gangster movies are too violent. If you’re a screenwriter, here are some dialogue suggestions for kindlier, friendlier gangster movies:
“I’m gonna make you swim with the dolphins!”
“I know you’re the rat. The boss sent me to take care of you… You need a back rub? Chamomile tea?”
“You’ll never catch me, coppers! Tag, you’re it!”
“Revenge is a dish best served with rolls, salad, and green bean casserole.”
“Alright, everybody, this is a robbery! Put your jazz hands up!”
“This here’s Miss Bonnie Parker. I’m Clyde Barrow. We rob banks. And use the money to fund our Etsy shop. Do you like decoupage?”
“Say hello to my little friend! His name is Chauncey and he’s a Jack Russel terrier!”
“I’m funny how? I mean funny like I’m a clown, I amuse you? I make you laugh? I’m here to amuse you? Well, great! Thank you for coming to my improv show!”
“You’re a gangster now. You’re on the other side. Whole new ball game. You’re playing ping pong now!”
“Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer. Because they probably need a hug.”
“I’m gonna make him an offer he can’t refuse. Fifteen percent off his car insurance!”
“This is a mugging! Hand over the wallet or I’ll read you my screen play! It’s trite, derivative, and you’ll see the ending coming a mile away!”
“Nice business you got here. Would be a shame if someone had a crazy good coupon. Not saying I do, not saying I don’t. Just sometimes discounts happen all by themselves…”
“Forget it Jake, it’s Funky Town.”
