D.N. Schmidt’s jokes, one-liners, funny articles, and nonsense.

Friendly gangster movies

Some people think gangster movies are too violent. If you’re a screenwriter, here are some dialogue suggestions for kindlier, friendlier gangster movies: “I’m gonna make you swim with the dolphins!” “I know you’re the rat. The boss sent me to take care of you… You need a back rub? Chamomile tea?” “You’ll never catch me, coppers! Tag, you’re it!” “Revenge …

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movie theater - illustration for gangster movies article

2024 Predictions

Some things that will definitely happen next year… Probably.

Hand holding crystal ball - Illustration for future predictions humor article

Worse Bands

This is a fun game to play on road trips. Put a playlist on shuffle and after each song, everyone in the car tries to rename the band so it sounds like a crappy knockoff version.

Band with guitars - Illustration for Worse Bands game humor article