D.N. Schmidt Books
Science fiction, space opera, mystery, and writing prompts
They Ate The Waitress?
Can You really trust the owner of a restaurant for cannibals?
The government has collapsed. Not suddenly with a war or apocalypse, but slowly under the weight of its own incompetence. Law enforcement is now provided by private insurance companies, security guards, and manhunters. Manhunters are a mix of private detective and bounty hunter, experts at solving crimes, tracking down fugitives, and hand-to-gun combat. (It’s easier than hand-to-hand combat, especially if you’re the one with the gun.)
Manhunter Nick Wergild is a specialist in “weird” cases. One evening, while under the influence of powerful hallucinogens, he is hired to investigate a murder at a local restaurant called “Hand to Mouth”. It seems the customers ate one of the staff. And she didn’t even volunteer for the job.
Armed only with his wits and an atomic-powered electroshock gun, Nick has to find a way to solve the case without a body or a crime scene. Along the way, he also has to survive hit men, bomb-throwing security guards, bad puns, and a homicidal politician. Will he live long enough to solve the case? Can you really trust the owner of a restaurant for cannibals? And why does furniture keep falling from the sky?
Highly recommended for fans of Dirk Gently or the comic book series Transmetropolitan. If you love funny mysteries, you don’t want to miss this!
Available for Kindle, print, and audio book. (Nobody would publish the cookbook version…)
The Screaming Void
can a space junk salvage crew save the galaxy?
Jay Jordan and his crew travel the Domain, bending the law like a pretzel and sneaking their loot past wormhole security. A space gangster hires them to retrieve a mysterious ship lost in The Screaming Void. According to spacer legends, the Screaming Void was so vast and so empty that it drove travelers mad. It was the deadliest place in space, more perilous than the orbiting mine fields of Garbox 7, more insidious than the sentient black hole Stellar Oblivion, and more toxic than NearlyAir, the oxygen substitute for spacers on a budget. Traveling to the Void would mean certain doom, or at least highly probable misfortune.
As usual, the crew is flat broke. Jay is already renting out several of his internal organs, but it just isn’t enough to satisfy the crew’s ravenous creditors and their homicidal collections agents. The crew’s desperate need for cash outweighs their instinct for self-preservation. Reluctantly, they take the job.
Can the crew keep the ship from falling into the wrong hands? Can they keep their heads together long enough to get paid? Will they ever have a decent meal, or are they doomed to eat instant noodles forever?
Great for fans of Firefly, Cowboy Beebop, Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, and fun space opera adventures!
Available in print, Kindle, and psychic vision.
The Doom Tapes
Ready to start the show?
Enjoy fifteen science fiction short stories filled with adventure, aliens, robots, and monsters! Take your flying car to the drive-in because the show’s about to start!
In “The Doom Tapes”, the earth is invaded by aliens. The only ones who can save the world are the clerks at Last Chance Video, the last movie rental store that still stocks VHS.
“Robot Eden” is the story of a trio of machines wandering a post-apocalyptic wasteland in search of the one place humans can never enter. Gangs of survivors fight them at every turn, seeking to scrap them for parts.
In “The Many Bodies of Harlan Thorne”, a spacefaring assassin has a collection of cloned bodies, each with a different super power. It’s a great life, until a clone refuses to go back into storage.
In “The Texas Creepers”, a man plays poker with parasites from another dimension.
“Mystery Meat Monster” features a truck stop in space, aliens, ray guns, and the galaxy’s most dangerous meatloaf.
The collection also includes the novella “The Asteroid Heist.” A thief and conman has a plan to pull off the biggest crime in history. But how do you steal three miles of space rock?
Available in print, Kindle, Kindle Unlimited, and weird dream.
get rid of writer’s block for good!
There are over two thousand story ideas for science fiction, horror, or fantasy stories, just waiting to inspire you. You’re sure to find something appealing for your next project.
Inspiration Overdose is packed with tools and techniques to transform story ideas into something entirely new. Try them all and pick your favorites, or choose one at random and write for an hour, then switch to another. Switching things up keeps the writing process interesting and your creative sparks flying. Just remember to wear eye protection!
Combining the tools with the story ideas can create over five septillion combinations! That’s a five with twenty-four zeroes after it, or more story ideas than there are stars in the universe.
Most likely, there are more story ideas in this book than you will ever need. Maybe even too many. You might become such a prolific writer that your house ends up filled with your work, with mountains of books stacked everywhere, until someone slams a door and they topple over and you end up buried alive under a literary avalanche. So to be on the safe side, I wouldn’t write more than a billion stories. Maybe two billion, if you use a small font.
Available in print, Kindle, Kindle Unlimited, and message from a carrier pigeon.