D.N. Schmidt’s jokes, one-liners, funny articles, and nonsense.

The Greeting Card Joke

A boss wants to send a card to an employee who just got married. He has two employees on vacation, one on his honeymoon and the other recovering from a vasectomy. He can’t remember which is which. He gets them both cards with the same message: congratulations on tying the knot!

A greeting card resting on a desk, illustration for a short greeting card joke

Band Name Tours

Just like my other musical road trip game Worse Bands, this is another fun game you can play in a car or wherever you happen to be listening to music. Put a playlist on shuffle. When a song starts, press pause and come up with other artists that should tour with that band, just based on their names. Feel free …

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guitars and drums - illustration for band name tours game

Easy April Fools’ Day Prank Ideas

April Fools’ Day is fast approaching. Looking for the perfect practical joke to pull on your friends, family, or strangers on the bus? Check out these April Fools’ Day prank ideas!

Grenades, illustration for april fools day prank ideas humor article

Horror Movie Title First Drafts

When you’re writing a screenplay, the right title is important. This is especially important with horror films. Here are some first draft horror movie titles that aren’t quite as scary as what you saw in theaters:

empty movie theater illustration for horror movie title article