D.N. Schmidt’s poetry. Mostly bad.

The Thing Liking Machine

A poem Sneezle Island was really quite crowded. The Sneezles were angry, their minds were quite clouded. Although they were packed shoulder to shoulder, They were ignored by attention withholders. All of the Sneezles, from near to remotest, Thought what good was work if nobody noticed? The Sneezles were mad, and like some ignoramus, They wanted to become internet famous. …

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Machinery, illustration for a funny poem about social media in the style of Dr. Seuss

Holding Back The Dark

Three little girls, each smiling so sweetly, All brushed their teeth and combed their hair neatly They crawled into their beds and said goodnight And then their dear mother turned out the light It was Mommy and Daddy’s monthly date Dinner and dancing would keep them out late So they called a school girl with bright red hair To watch …

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Dark, decaying room, illustration for horror poem Holding Back The Dark

Wheelbarrows and Women

My friend came to me with an unusual claim. “Wheelbarrows and women are completely the same! They work in the garden, they hold bags of dirt. Some are quite prudish, the others are flirts. They both have some legs and they both have a wheel, And neither will mind if you give them a feel. Sure, one’s made of flesh …

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Wheelbarrows in a field - Illustration for funny poem Wheelbarrows and Women