There once was a kingdom, as I once heard,
Where everyone in it was a beast or a bird.
The knights were all wolves. The priest was a drake.
But worst of all, the king was a snake.
The animals had neither silver nor gold.
They didn’t get jewels for the food that they sold.
Instead when they bought any of their goods,
They paid with some coins carved out of wood.
Day in and day out, people came to the king,
To ask him to fix a great many things.
They wanted healthcare for the sick and the poor.
They wanted some guns to use in a war.
They wanted new plows and some wood-chopping axes.
But they wouldn’t pay any more taxes.
The king was a shrewd and an arrogant man.
He came up with an audacious plan.
“If taking their coins will just make them holler,
I’ll secretly make all their wood coins get smaller!
I’ll hire some beavers, those useful critters,
Pretending to search for coin counterfeiters.
They’ll examine the coins, and this they will pledge:
The beavers just need to nibble the edge.
But they’ll secretly chew on the coins people bring,
And I’ll use the wood bits to buy people things!
The nibbled wood each beaver purloins,
Will go off to the mint to become brand new coins!”
The king paid for healthcare and guns and some axes,
And he magically did it without any new taxes.
There was no end to the people’s praising.
They thought the king’s gifts were awfully amazing.
But when folks went to the store to buy more food,
they thought that the sellers were suddenly rude.
“They’re ripping us off!” said every buyer.
“Each time we shop, their prices get higher!”
Because all the coins contained much less weight,
The sellers charged more for the food that they ate.
The people grew poorer, even living in squalor,
Because the king made all their coins so much smaller.
They refused to accept that the fault was the king’s.
They loved him for giving them so many free things.
Perhaps one day they’ll have a think,
And realize just who made their money shrink.
And then the snake finally will find himself caught,
Thrown into jail and tied in a knot.
