Welcome, dear readers, to the delightfully dark and romantically macabre world of goth dating. If you’ve ever dreamt of candlelit dinners in a haunted mansion or moonlit strolls through eerie cemeteries, you’re in for a treat. So grab your black lipstick, don your finest velvet cape, and prepare to embrace your inner creature of the night as we explore these goth-approved date night adventures.
- Have a cemetery picnic. Find a nice spot under a shady tree, or in an open grave.
- Read them your poetry. They should get to see how pretentious and insufferable you are right away.
- Take turns sealing each other in the wall of your catacombs.
- Take a haunted house tour. If there isn’t a haunted house in your area, pick a house and haunt it yourself.
- See who can quoth the most ravens.
- Take a yoga class. Yes, goths do yoga. Try corpse pose, or downward facing depression.
- Grab a camera and take photos of decay: crumbling buildings, broken windows, your grandparents, that sort of thing.
- Introduce them to your family, either with a Ouija board or a shovel.
- Go people watching. Head to the mall and mock the posers, the sheep, and your boss Kevin from The Cheese Hut.
- Get a Tarot deck and read each other’s fortunes. If you don’t have a Tarot deck, Pokemon cards work just as well.
- Try some goth baking. Death by chocolate cake, midnight macaroons, or banana bread with spiders in it.
- Vampire wine tasting. Share a bottle of red and a bowl of Count Chocula.
- Bat petting zoo.
Or you can make it a group date and play “light as a feather, stiff as a board.” Just do it indoors, or they might float away forever. You don’t want a repeat of what happened with Sasha.
